|Happy Lunar New Year! Three Questions for improving relationships.
Hope you’ve weathered Irma safely. I skipped last week as we all had enough media I felt in our lives for one week.. at least I did.
My husband and I once went to see Kevin, a couples’ therapist in Santa Rosa, Calif when we lived there in the early years of 2000.One thing that has always stood out for us was something he always said” you can always start anew every day” AND you can always “restart” any moment that went south while communicating. We continually remember these words in our daily life and practice refreshing our perspective- whether it’s with each other or in everyday life circumstances.This simple act of refreshing our perspective through the practices of meditation, prayer, walking, being in nature, creative expression, self-care, and seeing that the other person is just like you- needs love, patience, and respect is a way we get to honor our own self.
A New Year, gives us time to reflect on our strengths and on an area/s we’d like to improve in our lives in a broader sense. This is the beginning of the lunar year.
Akin to Ayurveda, in that the season of falling leaves can symbolize the falling away of what is no longer needed or what attitudes and behaviors truly don’t serve us, we can remain as the sturdy tree does even though on the outside circumstances inevitably change.
Three questions we can ask to better our relationships?
1. What can I find that is “good” to focus on about that person, or friend? What if for now, I focused on what I appreciate about that person rather than what they do wrong? ( no but “………….”…. they did…….. she didn’t…….).
2.Can I communicate my feelings/needs and hurts without blame or hostility? Truly understanding that our emotions belong to us and are the gateway to our own light. Starting with ” I feel… ” lets you own your own feelings.
3.Do I choose to remain true to myself and my own needs in relationships? Accommodating? Saying Yes when you mean No? Do I take enough alone time for myself or am I always obligated to others.?
I hope during this Fall season when Ayurveda, a holistic approach to health, promotes detoxing you can begin with the mind first, not last as the mind and body are one.
I wish you all a Happy Lunar New Year!